Simply Surrender all. Have I done this? Not by any means. But I’ve spent a lifetime trying to master the art of surrender. A lifetime letting go of what I had planned for what the Universe brought me instead; letting go of people, places, and things, and believing that there is power in letting go of the reins of life, and allowing myself to be led by a loving force instead.
It is my hope that you will follow me into a new world, with eyes wide open, and embrace the possibilities of a different path to walk…the path to freedom.
Freedom within, and freedom without, while you learn, as I did, the gift of
surrendering all!!
Living in the Midst of the Hurricane
I grew up in the middle of a tornado, in West Texas. No, I was not like Dorothy, in Kansas, who ended up in the wonderful land of Oz. My younger years were fraught with unexpected moments of rage from my father, craziness from my mother, and tears from sisters and brothers trying to make sense of a dysfunctional home, where anything could happen.
Yet, life is not black and white. There were many moments of tenderness and love as well, and I have some good memories of my tall Dad carrying me in his big strong arms as I laid a sleepy head of blond curls on his shoulder, and I felt safe and loved, in that moment. Remembering Mother waking me up, every morning, singing, and the light of the dawn coming in the window, and I could smell breakfast was cooking.
There were five of us then, and we all stuck together, as time began to gather the years, and each of us fell into a role. My eldest brother, was my protector. He kept all the really bad things from happening. My older sister became my mother. Mom was not capable of caring for us everyday, she was afflicted with a bad drinking habit. She showed up occasionally, but my sister was the one who made sure I was dressed right, with matching colors, on time to school, and nurtured. No one loved us all like my older sister.
My other brother brought music into my life, and showed me I could play, like he did. He inspired me to try my hand in the musical avenues, and when we both were given guitars one Christmas, my world changed. I’m grateful for that.
My little sister- we all had fun teasing and telling her she was adopted and acting like we did want her around. As kids, we didn’t know how cruel we could be. Today, she is way more than a sister to me. I wouldn't have survived the consequences of a dysfunctional home with out her.
We were all affected by living in the midst of the hurricane. So the first thing I had to surrender was the hope of a better past.
Where is the Happy Ending?
For many long and sad years, I let the events of my past control me. I burned with resentment for my father, and the violence and terror we all experienced at his hand. I was angry that my mother did not protect us. I was powerless,watching how alcoholism and abuse tore our family apart,destroying intimacy, affecting my adult relationships, and changing the course of all of our lives, forever. But there is a happy ending.
We grew up.
We were no longer choiceness, even if were powerless. My younger sister was the first to leave. She had a long road ahead of her, but she eventually found recovery from her past, hope for her future, and a new life. My older sister spent her life making everyone else happy which brought her happiness, too.
My brothers left home, and made their way in the world, found their own families, and a life worth living. Dad made amends to me, and we rebuilt our relationship. He did everything he could to keep the kids together after the divorce of his unhappy marriage to mother.
That was a miracle. Mother stopped drinking, found a sober cowboy and rode off into the sunset. I found a spiritual fellowship that saved my life, one day at a time, a journey like no other, and it was here I learned how to surrender. It made me realize that if I can find the strength to survive, then there's hope for others too.
Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.”
The question is: Do you want to just survive, or live? I survived my past, but I want to live in the present moment. If there is something or someone that you are holding on to, begin the process of surrender. Accept that something is blocking you that you need to let go of. That’s the beginning. Powerless, yes. Choiceness , no. Choose to live your life, and the doors of grace will open up.
When I stop fighting, and let go, it opens up another possibility in m life. If things could be 100 percent perfect in your world today, What would have to change?
Let’s find out, and journey together toward freedom!!
