March blows in like a roaring Lion.
But I remember two years ago, when the world felt dead. A friend of mine wrote about it: “FaceTime, Skype and Zoom cannot replace hugging my kids and grandkids, who I can now only blow kisses to, and view from across the room.” Panicked people isolated and fear reigned, and grew. Who knew when we would all be together again.
No one did.
Not for a long time.
But Spring came, and love reigned.
Holding hands again, we were all lovers, of each other. We didn’t know what we missed til it was gone, like the Judy Collins song. But there’s other ways to isolate- hiding within, not being true to yourself.
Denial can be a heavy blanket, protecting us from the worst.
The worst being the truth.
The truth that I’m scared, maybe I’m not going to be able to cope, think I’ll just have a smoke, or a little bit of dope? Nope!
it’s easier to believe a lie than it is to manufacture hope. My closest friends could see through my easy breezy, “I’m ok.” when they knew- I wasn’t. They waited until the day came that I finally broke in two, admitted that I’m blue, and cried…boo hoo. I knew I needed you, but I didn’t see why, til I could no longer believe my own lies.
It’s hard to ask for help, but harder not to.
Now I have beautiful flowers on my shelf, friends sending love in every way possible, and the mission I have in front of me, no longer impossible. I’m not alone in my pain or struggle, and I can find a way to pray.
There, the lion lays down with the little lamb and waits, watches, and finally marches away, like the last bad day. I rest now, inside and out, thinking , how awful that I held back so long, yet, I remember that good old Beatles’ song:
All you need is love…and a little help from above.